Create With Purpose Part 4: Authenticity & Acceptance by Kirsten McNeill
Let’s welcome back Kirsten McNeill as she shares with us “Create With Purpose Part 4: Authenticity & Acceptance” Enjoy!
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Hello Writer’s Fun Zone! It’s been a while since my last guest post, but I’m back with the long anticipated Part 4 of the Create With Purpose Blog Series: Authenticity and Acceptance.
Through this post, I will share my insight on being yourself, finding writing success, and accepting failure as a lesson learned.
Authenticity & Acceptance
These are great buzz words, right? But what do they really mean? They’re words that we hear all the time and we don’t really stop to think about the definition.
Authenticity means to be yourself. Okay, what does THAT mean?
Whatever you want it to mean.
That meaning could change based on the day, your mood, or as you mature into different stages of your life.
It means to explore who you are, what you love, and what your goals are, and keep searching for the answers to embrace the best version of YOU.
When you are open to that exploration and you stand up for what you believe in as wholeheartedly as you can, THAT is authenticity.
You’re becoming the person you were meant to be, not the person everyone expects you to be. Often, those can be two very different people.
Acceptance means to embrace that who you are may not be appealing to every single person, but you’re not going to change for anyone. You’re confident in who you are and you’re learning to love that.
Being Yourself & Finding Success
When you are your true self, you are making decisions that are best for YOU without worrying about the judgement that may come from others.
Who you are and your version of success will differ from your friends and family.
Success just means you’ve achieved your goals, but it may not always look like you expected it to.
Allow me to share a story about when my pride was blocking my path to success.
I’ve never enjoyed having to support Amazon as a self-published writer.
I’d rather support local businesses and mom and pop shops compared to big corporations. That’s why I published my books on Lulu Publishing for so long.
That was a choice I made for myself and my writing.
But then, the Canada Post strike happened and Lulu had to raise their shipping prices by nearly eight dollars!
It was already pushing the line of expensive, but this was ridiculous.
I had to swallow my pride and move my books over to Amazon because there are no other comparable self-publishing platforms that offer little to no shipping costs for the buyers.
Would people laugh at me after I spent so long resisting Amazon?
So long trying to justify why I’m choosing Lulu over a platform that SO many authors have been successful using?
Maybe… but I couldn’t let that stop me from my growth.
There’s going to be pros and cons to every situation in life. It’s up to you to weigh your options and decide what is best for YOU.
If I had continued resisting Amazon, I may not have made the sales that I currently have.
I had to make that choice for myself. Even if it wasn’t the most ideal, it was helpful for my success.
The next time you’re faced with a difficult decision, put aside your need for external validation.
Cast away those thoughts of what other people may think of you. Those thoughts are just unhelpful assumptions. Once you’ve cleared your mind, do this:
- Write down your top goal within the difficult situation you’re facing.
- Write down EVERY possible choice you can think of to achieve that goal.
- Highlight the choices that align the best with your values.
- Highlight the choices that are most helpful to achieve your goal (this may differ from some that align best with your values).
- Look at the most helpful choices and weigh the pros and cons.
Do the cons outweigh the pros so much that you will avoid that choice like the plague?
If yes, cross it out.
If not, it may be worth exploring this option.
Achieve it in a way that feels good to you. I’m not telling you to tear down someone else’s success to make way for yours.
I’m simply hoping I can help you find a solution to your struggles that feels good, even if it wasn’t what you originally wanted to do.
Accepting Failure as a Lesson
Failure has several negative connotations because we see it as a loss.
We didn’t achieve our goals in the exact way that we planned, so that must mean we are awful writers and should give up completely.
One of my goals is to change that negative connotation.
To paraphrase Thomas Edison, he didn’t fail countless times.
He learned countless ways to NOT make a lightbulb. That is still valuable information.
Have you ever succeeded in something and said, “Whoa, how did I do that??”
Then, tried to recreate the result, but you never end up doing it again.
That’s because you couldn’t or didn’t track the steps that led to the success.
Same goes for failure.
If we don’t keep track of what’s working and not working for us, we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes.
If we view failure as a necessary step that leads to success, we can potentially make life easier for ourselves.
Your first book launch didn’t lead to sales? Find out why and do something different for the next launch.
You spent too much money on an editor who was sub-par? Do research on finding the best fit next time.
There’s a typo in your published book? Shrug, and upload the updated manuscript.
Or leave it and accept that nothing is perfect because perfect isn’t real!
There is always something to learn from every situation. It’s a refusal to learn and grow that is the only thing holding you back.
Some factors are out of our control, and life does take us down some crazy roads.
But it’s important to adapt to the situation and find out what will be the best path for YOU.
What will bring you the most joy?
The most success?
Unveil the best version of you?
Embrace the journey, enjoy the writing, and never forget that you are worthy.
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ABOUT KIRSTEN MCNEILL
Kirsten McNeill is a Confidence & Writing Lifestyle Coach, Podcaster, and Self-Published Writer. Her mission with Worthy Writers Coaching is to align you with your creative identity through practical writing schedules and exploring your identity. Connect to your sunflower confidence to publish and share your stories with an empowered mindset.
Download the FREE workbook Feed Your Horses Confidence Thought Exercise when you subscribe to the Worthy Writers Confidence Newsletter.
Instagram: www.instagram.com/confident.kirsten
Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/theworthywritersnook
Create With Purpose Part 3: Exploration & Action
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