You Moved to Scottsdale by Catharine Bramkamp
Let’s welcome back monthly columnist Catharine Bramkamp as she shares with us “You Moved to Scottsdale.” Enjoy!
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“The renewal of societies and organizations can go forward only if someone cares.” John Gardner
A Move Made for Love and Responsibility
You moved to a brand new city or suburb to be closer to the children and/or grandchildren.
You are great parents and even better grandparents.
The kids need you more than ever.
So you pack up, sell the family house in Seattle and drive to Scottsdale, AZ where you purchase a much larger home ten minutes from the kids.
Of course you do, you have always helped them and this is your parental responsibility.
And sacrifice.
What You Left Behind
You left a lot behind: a carefully curated social life, committees, friends, cooperative neighbors.
You may have left the art you had just begun.
You had just cleared off the dining table.
You finally joined the community concert band — playing the tuba for all it’s worth.
You just registered for this amazing dream journaling class that inspired your new study of collage art.
You just discovered an art collective you didn’t know was in town.
But that’s all gone.
Say it with me — because the kids need you.
When Life Changes, Art Must Change Too
Life isn’t over, but it has changed.
And your art can change with it.
Replanting an Established Art Practice
A strong art practice is easy to uproot and set back down.
The second day you arrived in the new town, you claimed a space, unpacked the instruments and established boundaries with your children: you will pick up the grandchildren Monday, Wednesday and Thursday but not more frequently than that.
As you dive back into your art, you know how to reach out to this new community for connections based on the tuba practice collective or the haiku writing group, or a group that writes haikus about listening to the tuba.
When Art Gets Put in the Box Marked “Later”
However, if you were just inching towards an art practice, and the move pushed your nascent work into that dangerous space of “later,” maybe you need some help to restart.
The first thing to unpack in your new home is the elephant in the living room (your art, even though through the stress of the move, you loathed to bring it up), because no matter how determined you were to forget, she came along, packed in the box marked “later.”
Does My Art Matter?
In the face of your children’s needs, do you even deserve to make art?
Can you even make art in what will first seem like an alien environment?
Does it matter?
That’s the key question, does it even matter what you do and what you create?
Yes.
It does.
Art as Essential Care
Repeat the mantra: Art saves us.
Art feeds our souls as much as Pilates class helps with balance.
Both prevent falls, both prevent breaks — hip or psyche, you need both.
Join the local gym (for the Pilates class) and check out the bulletin board for artistic opportunities.
If you need to save drive time, look up zoom or YouTube classes.
Starting Again, One Small Step at a Time
Start small, just as you did when you first explored making art.
Return to claiming that ten minutes of art.
Slowly work back to where you left off at the former home.
New Places, New Creative Possibilities
Take comfort that a new and unique environment will inspire new ideas.
From Georgia O’Keeffe, who moved from Manhattan to the Southwest to paint, to James Joyce, who wrote about Dublin while living in Trieste, to Ernest Hemingway, who famously said, “Maybe away from Paris I could write about Paris, as in Paris I could write about Michigan,” a new place often generates better — even greater — art.
Take a page from their books and throw yourself into the new place, new horizons and start your work anew.
When the Change Isn’t a Move
Your change may not involve a big move.
You could be downsizing due to a family crisis.
Children and grandchildren may be moving back into the family (your) house.
You and your spouse need to move to a living facility offering a higher level of care than you can access at home.
Guardrails for Your Creative Life
In any new situation, erect brightly colored guard rails (so your spouse can see them) to keep your art schedule on course.
Don’t give up your art space.
Don’t turn the studio into the nursery because the baby needs it more.
The baby does not need it more, you do.
Art as What Keeps You Whole
When you create art for at least an hour a day, focusing on a project that is bigger than you and certainly bigger than the plumbing problem in the guest bathroom, you can stay more sane and be ironically, more present for your children as you weather, what I genuinely wish for you, is a temporary living situation.
What’s Next
Look for the new Book , Take Up Space — Art as Your Second Act, this winter!
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Catharine Bramkamp is a successful writing coach, Chief Storytelling Officer, former co-producer of Newbie Writers Podcast, and author of a dozen books including the Real Estate Diva Mysteries series, and The Future Girls series. She holds two degrees in English and is an adjunct university professor. After fracturing her wrist, she has figured out there is very little she is able to do with one hand tied behind her back. She delights in inspiring her readers.
