Impossible Concurrent Actions by Kristin Noland
Let’s welcome back Kristin Noland as she shares with us “Impossible Concurrent Actions” Enjoy!
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That’s Impossible!
Most fiction authors think nothing is impossible; it’s fiction after all. But there are things that are impossible, even in fiction.
One of the top impossibilities I come across when editing is impossible concurrent actions.
When I’m editing, I assess each sentence, not just for clarity, conciseness, and rhythm, but for believability as well.
Most concurrent actions are presented with an introductory phrase, like “Digging in my bag.”
This sets up the rest of the sentence to explain what happens while the character is digging into their bag.
Possible Concurrent actions:
Digging in my bag, I wondered if I left my keys at home.
Digging in my bag, I checked my surroundings.
Impossible Concurrent Actions:
Digging in my bag, I pulled out my keys.
Digging in my bag, I grab a pen and notepad and jot down my thoughts.
Once they pull out their keys, are they still digging?
Once they grab something or start writing, can they still be digging?
If you think about adding the word ‘while’ to the beginning of the sentence, you can spot the impossibility easier.
While digging in my bag …
As an editor, I think about if actions can be done simultaneously or not, and I often act out written simultaneous actions to see if they are possible. (Winking and grimacing was my favorite.) In this case, I wouldn’t have to act it out. I can visualize the character and know what they are doing is impossible.
One of the character’s hands would hold the bag or hold it open while the other digs for whatever they are looking for.
Let’s look at a different example.
Running alongside his friend’s moving car, Dave opened the door and jumped in.
Now, I didn’t have to act this one out either. In fact, I advise against it. It’s dangerous … and impossible.
One cannot run while jumping.
I’m not sure it’s even possible to open the door of a moving car, no matter what movies show. And I’m not going to try it to find out. Yet, if I’m line editing, I will suggest an edit to the sentence.
Dave ran alongside his friend’s car, opened the door, and jumped in.
One of my absolute favorite impossible concurrent actions is talking while drinking.
“I’d love to go on a stakeout,” she said, sipping her tea.
Go ahead. Try that one. If you did, I bet you were drenched in tea!
One cannot drink and talk at the same time.
Now for you sci-fi and fantasy authors out there who are like, “My character has four arms, the speed of a cheetah, and two mouths,” your character may be equipped to perform these actions simultaneously. But we mere mortals are not.
If you do have characters with more appendages and organs and superpowers, great! Keep in mind they have limitations as well.
A character with four hands can only do a maximum of four things involving their hands.
Recently, I had some pushback on a speaking while drinking example. They stated readers would know that the character couldn’t do both at the same time and would picture the drinking happening after the character speaks.
That may be true, but it’s not accurate and some readers call out poor writing skills. ☹
We don’t want that. We want our readers to love our writing and all of our stories and not let out a resigned sigh or stop reading because of a mistake that could have been easily fixed.
Debatable Concurrent Actions.
Here are some highly debated concurrent actions. At least, they are highly debated among editors.
Talking while smiling and talking while laughing.
I think you can laugh and talk at the same time, but not for long.
In my opinion, you can smile and say a few words, but to keep smiling through an entire story? I have my doubts.
“Here’s a funny story for you. [Goes on for a paragraph telling the story],” she said, smiling.
She probably can’t talk for a paragraph while smiling. Intermittently, sure, but not the whole time.
“Never in a million years,” Gretta said, laughing.
I have no problem with this sentence. Though if Gretta continued to laugh through more than a sentence of dialogue, I would say that was impossible.
Revising
When you are editing, check your work for impossible concurrent actions.
Try acting them out and see if what you wrote is actually possible.
If not, simply revise the sentence. Break it up into two sentences or use ‘and’ or ‘then.’ And, if necessary, remove the “-ing” action that follows the dialogue tag.
I hope you enjoyed this article.
Happy writing and revising!
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About the Author
Kristin Noland–Speculative Fiction and Crime Fiction Editor and Ghostwriter
Kristin is an editor and ghostwriter who works with women authors of speculative and crime fiction. With her extensive experience and her caring and encouraging style, she guides authors through the writing and editing process to strengthen their storytelling skills and ensure readers are entertained and immersed in their stories.
Get free author resources at: https://www.nolandediting.com/author-resources
Read the Noland Editing Blog. https://www.nolandediting.com/blog
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Blog: https://www.nolandediting.com/blog
