{"id":26944,"date":"2023-03-24T03:00:09","date_gmt":"2023-03-24T10:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/?p=26944"},"modified":"2023-03-17T06:04:26","modified_gmt":"2023-03-17T13:04:26","slug":"writing-a-book-is-a-lot-like-falling-in-love-by-nancy-stolhman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/2023\/03\/24\/writing-a-book-is-a-lot-like-falling-in-love-by-nancy-stolhman\/","title":{"rendered":"Writing a Book Is a Lot Like Falling in Love by Nancy Stolhman"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Writing-a-Book-Is-a-Lot-Like-Falling-in-Love-by-Nancy-Stolhman.png\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-26946 size-thumbnail\" title=\"Writing a Book Is a Lot Like Falling in Love by Nancy Stolhman\" src=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Writing-a-Book-Is-a-Lot-Like-Falling-in-Love-by-Nancy-Stolhman-300x300.png\" alt=\"Writing a Book Is a Lot Like Falling in Love by Nancy Stolhman\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Writing-a-Book-Is-a-Lot-Like-Falling-in-Love-by-Nancy-Stolhman.png 300w, https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Writing-a-Book-Is-a-Lot-Like-Falling-in-Love-by-Nancy-Stolhman-80x80.png 80w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>Let\u2019s welcome back <a href=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/?s=Nancy+Stohlman\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Nancy Stolhman<\/a> as she shares with us \u201cWriting a Book Is a Lot Like Falling in Love.\u201d Enjoy!<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p><strong>For me, there\u2019s nothing comparable to writing a book<\/strong>. The journey across pages is a holy collaboration with the muse, an extended meditation inside the Great Creative Mystery.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019ve ever fallen in love\u2014and I mean the kind where lightning strikes jagged across the sky, obliterating (in the best way) everything you thought you knew!\u2014then you are familiar with that feeling of glorious surrender.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Writing a book is exactly the same.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>To fall in love with your book is to fall in love with the Muse, to embark on a dazzling albeit maddening journey filled with many unknowns, possibility, risk, and many, many junctures where you just have to close your eyes and <i>go for it.<\/i><\/p>\n<p><strong>But that\u2019s not always easy!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When we\u2019re swimming in so much possibility, especially at the beginning of a big creative project, it can be intimidating.<\/p>\n<p>We put pen to paper without knowing exactly what will emerge.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\">Can we pull this off?<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\">Do we even have a full story?<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\">Is this going to be a waste of time?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>We don&#8217;t know what step to take next.<\/strong> And we want to know! Sometimes we even feel like we <i>must<\/i> know if we are to go on.<\/p>\n<p>But, ironically, it\u2019s in this murky creative clearing that your best ideas will arise.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>There\u2019s nothing pragmatic about inspiration.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>In my workshops and retreats, I like to remind writers that true inspiration, like true love, is messy and unexpected. It takes over.<\/p>\n<p><strong>And the further you get into your own creative goo<\/strong>, the further away from the shoreline of the known&#8230;the more it happens.<\/p>\n<p><i>That\u2019s when you know you are on to something.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n<p>When the world starts to sparkle, when the edges of reality get fuzzy in that way that lets you know true inspiration is coming\u2026 you just have to let go and fall back into the open arms of art.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Staying alert in that vast<\/strong>, open space of mystery is a skill.<\/p>\n<p>And like any relationship, your creative lover will keep you wonderfully off balance.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lean into this eerie clearing in the woods<\/strong>, this space of ambiguity and potential.<\/p>\n<p>Not-knowing is <i>exactly <\/i>where you should be right now.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, don\u2019t just embrace it but celebrate it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>To make real art, inspired art, is to take a seat inside the mystery.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We show up to our work each day because we honestly have no idea how it ends or what it will demand of us.<\/p>\n<p>But we know it\u2019s beautiful and rare, and speaking just to us.<\/p>\n<h3><b>What about you?<br \/>\n<\/b><\/h3>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\">When the Muse (or Love!) descends, do you release control, or do you insist on having it your way?<\/p>\n<h2>My three best tips for navigating your creative relationship:<\/h2>\n<ol>\n<li><b>Always remember your true position.<br \/>\n<\/b><b><br \/>\n<\/b><b><\/b>Not as inventor or genius or even \u201cthe writer\u201d in control\u2026but as a <b>humble servant of the story<\/b>, the midwife catching the creative baby and landing it safely to the page.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes we have to get out of our own way and just let what wants to be written\u2026arrive.<\/li>\n<li><b>Fifteen minutes a day can save your relationship.<\/b><b>\n<p><\/b><b><\/b>We don\u2019t always have an hour, an afternoon, an open, glorious weekend. But fifteen minutes a day can keep the creative fires going.<\/p>\n<p>Plus, when your creative brain knows you\u2019ll never be away for more than 23 hours, it starts helping. You&#8217;ll begin to &#8220;see&#8221; your story everywhere.<\/li>\n<li>And most of all:<b> Allow yourself to be surprised.<br \/>\n<\/b><br \/>\nBreathe into the boundless potential of the creative project in front of you and be okay with the mystery.<\/p>\n<p>Remember: a visit from love or the muse is a gift.<\/p>\n<p>Every day we get to make art is a gift.<\/p>\n<p>The story is not a wild horse to be broken. The story is two lovers riding bareback with a notebook and a pen in each hand.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>To your greatest creative love manifesting on the page.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I can\u2019t wait to read your book!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<h2>ABOUT THE AUTHOR<\/h2>\n<p><b><a href=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Nancy-Green-coat.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-26945\" title=\"Nancy Stohlman\" src=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Nancy-Green-coat-200x300.jpg\" alt=\"Nancy Stohlman\" width=\"100\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Nancy-Green-coat-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Nancy-Green-coat-682x1024.jpg 682w, https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Nancy-Green-coat-768x1153.jpg 768w, https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Nancy-Green-coat-640x961.jpg 640w, https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Nancy-Green-coat.jpg 799w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 100px) 100vw, 100px\" \/><\/a>Nancy Stohlman<\/b>\u00a0is the author of six books including\u00a0<i>After the Rapture<\/i>\u00a0(2023),\u00a0<i>Madam Velvet\u2019s Cabaret of Oddities (2018),\u00a0The Vixen Scream and Other Bible Stories (2014),\u00a0The Monster Opera (2013),\u00a0Searching for Suzi: a flash novel (2009),\u00a0<\/i>and\u00a0<i>Going Short: An Invitation to Flash Fiction (2020),\u00a0<\/i>winner of the 2021 Reader Views Gold Award and re-released in 2022 as an audiobook.<\/p>\n<p>Her work has been anthologized widely, appearing in the Norton anthology\u00a0<i>New Micro: Exceptionally Short Fiction\u00a0<\/i>and\u00a0<i>The Best Small Fictions 2019<\/i>, as well as adapted for both stage and screen. She teaches at the University of Colorado Boulder and holds workshops and retreats around the world. Find out more at\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nancystohlman.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">http:\/\/www.nancystohlman.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Buy <i>After the Rapture<\/i> from Mason Jar Press:\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/masonjarpress.com\/chapbooks-1\/after-the-rapture\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/masonjarpress.com\/chapbooks-1\/after-the-rapture<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Buy from Amazon: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/After-Rapture-Nancy-Stohlman\/dp\/195185313X\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/After-Rapture-Nancy-Stohlman\/dp\/195185313X\/<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Author Nancy Stolhman shares how writing a book is a lot like falling in love and her 3 best tips for navigating your creative relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":26946,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[49,5270,5267,5271,5268,5273,5272,3821,505,5266,5269,328,2523],"class_list":["post-26944","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-writing-tips","tag-author","tag-creative-mystery","tag-creative-relationship","tag-fall-in-love-with-the-muse","tag-falling-in-love","tag-humble-servant-of-the-story","tag-inside-the-mystery","tag-meditation","tag-messy","tag-nancy-stolhman","tag-teacher-writing","tag-writing-a-book","tag-writing-tips"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Writing a 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