{"id":23003,"date":"2020-04-27T03:00:44","date_gmt":"2020-04-27T10:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/?p=23003"},"modified":"2020-04-27T18:08:42","modified_gmt":"2020-04-28T01:08:42","slug":"line-editing-your-action-verbs-by-sue-brown-moore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/2020\/04\/27\/line-editing-your-action-verbs-by-sue-brown-moore\/","title":{"rendered":"Line Editing Your Action Verbs by Sue Brown-Moore"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Line<\/a>Please welcome new guest columnist developmental editor and author coach specializing in romantic fiction, Sue Brown-Moore, as she shares about line editing your action verbs.<\/span><\/p>\n

***\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Emotion isn’t conveyed,<\/strong> it is experienced. Compelling prose can sweep readers away, but it starts with clean, simple language.<\/span><\/p>\n

Use your words strategically, and harness the hidden depths of verbs that <\/span>speak<\/span><\/em>. Read on for your boost of line editing insight.<\/span><\/p>\n

Are your verbs steeped in emotion?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Check out this excerpt <\/span>from <\/span>Bombshell<\/span><\/i> by CD Reiss. Copyright \u00a9 2017 CD Reiss. The bombshell in this romance is the secret baby \u2014 well, toddler\u2014but the real draw is the excellent story craft of <\/span>CD Reiss<\/a>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\"Bombshell<\/a><\/span>\u201cDaddy?\u201d Nicole\u2019s voice came from the other side of the door. \u201cAre you okay? Really?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s fine!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s killing me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Cara cracked a smile. It was a gorgeous sight.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey! Don\u2019t kill Daddy!\u201d Nicole wasn\u2019t kidding. Her voice was <\/span>soaked<\/b> in terror.<\/span><\/p>\n

We looked at each other. Right. Death should be off the table. I leaned for the door and swung it open. Nicole trotted in with a little drawing pad in one hand and a pencil in the other. She nearly impaled me with it as she hopped onto my lap and turned to face Cara. From my vantage point I could see her point the pencil at her nanny. I had to imagine her tough little face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t. Kill. Daddy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t.\u201d She <\/span>split<\/b> the paper off the back of a Band-Aid and stuck it on me. \u201cBut if he keeps it up, I might have to hurt him just a little.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d Nicole agreed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay?\u201d I <\/span>objected<\/b>. My dad had always complained there was a female conspiracy in the house, and I started to think he might be right. As if she wanted to confirm the conspiracy, Nicole turned to face me, practically kneeing me in the groin. Even though she was on my lap she waved her fingers at me to get me closer. She whispered in my ear. \u201cI like Miss Cara.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

#1 First Action Verb: Are your verbs steeped in emotion?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Let’s look at the first bolded verb above: Her voice was <\/span>soaked<\/span><\/i> in terror.<\/span><\/p>\n

The verb <\/span>soaked<\/span><\/i> conveys overflow, heavy, dank.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Those are powerful implications that shore up the emotional cast of this statement.<\/strong> This child is not just upset, she\u2019s in a dark place psychologically, and she can\u2019t wring out her fear of loss.<\/span><\/p>\n

Some alternate, less optimal phrasings might use weaker verbs or rely on adverbs to achieve a similar effect.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, the text might instead say:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t kill Daddy!\u201d she said fearfully.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n