{"id":20477,"date":"2018-12-17T01:00:08","date_gmt":"2018-12-17T09:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/?p=20477"},"modified":"2018-12-17T03:46:11","modified_gmt":"2018-12-17T11:46:11","slug":"how-to-develop-a-thick-skin-by-debb-stanton","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/2018\/12\/17\/how-to-develop-a-thick-skin-by-debb-stanton\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Develop a Thick Skin by Debb Stanton"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Please welcome new guest writer, Debb Stanton, sharing about her writing life and how to develop a thick skin as a writer.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

In Writer\u2019s Fun Zone<\/em> I loved the November 2<\/strong>, 2018 post by Catharine Bramkamp called, \u201cThe Journey is the Story<\/a>.\u201d\u00a0 Catharine said, \u201cYour character needs to be real, flawed and struggle just as a reader would, just like a reader could.\u201d This was really helpful information to use in editing my novel.<\/p>\n

If I were a character in a book, my flaw would be that of needing to grow a thick skin.<\/p>\n

In a fictitious book called, The Dictionary According to Ms. Stanton, I\u2019d define the term \u201cthick skin\u201d as, \u201cConfidence in one\u2019s own abilities; a person\u2019s ability to withstand arrows and barbs thrown at them; the ability to not take everything personally.\u201d<\/p>\n

Spelling and Writing<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I started my young life as the girl who knew how to spell everything. Studying for the weekly spelling test on Fridays was unheard of for me; I aced each one without a problem. I didn\u2019t think my (now that I think of it, amazing) spelling ability was a gift. Because I was taught that I wasn\u2019t anybody special (encouragement was nonexistent in my household), I thought everyone knew how to spell fairly well.<\/p>\n

When I was in eighth grade,<\/strong> my writing teacher submitted two of my compositions to the town\u2019s newspaper. They were published! My parents smiled upon reading them in the newspaper and handed the paper to me, but that was it. No \u201cgood job.\u201d No \u201cwe\u2019re proud of you.\u201d
\nNonexistent praise kept company with zero encouragement in my house.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t have thick skin at that time. Had my parents not liked what I wrote in the compositions, I would\u2019ve sensed their dislike, and I would\u2019ve melted into a pile of tears.<\/p>\n

As an adult at work in a medical clinic,<\/strong> I was asked a question about how to spell something, but I had never heard the word before. I guessed correctly. I have never heard that word since, but their question got me thinking. Maybe I am unusual; maybe I do have a gift. It certainly seemed like it, since my constant dream of all time was to be a writer when I grew up. All I knew was, I loved to write stories and poems. They were fun to work with. When I wrote, my vivid imagination flew on the wings of contentment.<\/p>\n

I knew I had it bad for writing when, in my forties and single, I began to skip meals because I simply forgot to eat…instead, I was writing down my stories. I never felt hunger pains due to being so wrapped up in my writing.<\/p>\n

Blogging<\/strong><\/h2>\n

After I recovered from breast cancer, I was very grateful so started a blog. I chose the theme of positivity was the theme, and that was the warm feeling readers said they got from reading my blog.<\/p>\n

Most of my friends kindly listened when I talked about how much fun I had writing my blog and the discoveries I made along the way.<\/strong> What was surprising to me was they didn\u2019t share or understand my joy. This made me angry. Since I had now grown to love myself and give myself the encouragement that was missing in my childhood, my friends\u2019 lack of enthusiasm was a puzzle that seemed to have no answer.<\/p>\n

As a people-pleaser by nature, I still had a thin skin. If someone disagreed with me, I deemed it to be my fault and that I had the wrong belief.<\/p>\n

My life turned full circle.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Before I didn\u2019t think I had a talent. Then, when I discovered I did have a talent, I was very irritated when people didn\u2019t get excited about it. One day a friend of mine told me something very revealing. At last, here was the answer to my puzzle!<\/p>\n

\u201cDebb,\u201d he said,<\/strong> \u201cI don\u2019t understand your love for blogging, but I like to hear you talk about it because it gives me joy to see you have joy.\u201d<\/p>\n

I thought about that statement. Then I felt guilty for probably having a glazed look in my eyes when I listened to him talk about something he enjoyed. There were people who didn\u2019t know the first thing about writing a sentence, let alone wanting to write a story. Who knew!
\nI then began to appreciate being so enamored with writing. Once I understood that non-writers love things that I despise (like sewing), I didn\u2019t feel a responsibility to convert everyone over to my way of thinking about writing. I didn\u2019t think that I was wrong to love writing, and so started my growth into a thick skin.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what I discovered. Perhaps it can help you too.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Six Ways To Develop A Thick Writer\u2019s Skin<\/strong><\/h2>\n

1<\/strong>. Have a meeting with you, yourself, and you. Write down the reasons you\u2019d like a thick skin.
\n2.<\/strong> Ask yourself if you deserve to have a thick skin. If necessary, list your assets (good qualities) and ways you contribute to your own well-being. Yes — brag on yourself!
\n3<\/strong>. Think of a hobby you would never enjoy and write it down.
\n4.<\/strong> Ask yourself if it is fine for someone else to enjoy that hobby. If your answer is \u201cyes\u201d, you\u2019re on the right path.
\n5.<\/strong> Give yourself permission to be who you were created to be. We are not meant to be clones of everyone else. It would not be a good\u00a0scene if we were all alike.
\n5a<\/strong>. Write a mission statement about you and what you believe about yourself.
\n6<\/strong>. People\u2019s opinions of you or your writing are just that: opinions. Only if they are helpful to you should you consider opinions to be facts<\/p>\n

I can tolerate seeing eyes glazed over now,<\/strong> because I have a thick skin. My next project is getting a thick skin for other areas of my life. Wish me well!<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>ABOUT THE AUTHOR<\/strong>
\nDebb Stanton is an author, writer of poems and stories, breast cancer survivor, a curious person, and an introvert or extrovert, depending upon the day. She\u2019s the author The Positive Side of Cancer: My Faith and Hope Journey with Breast Cance<\/a>r<\/em> and is working on a novel. More about Deb at her site: http:\/\/www.debbiestanton.com\/.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019d define the term \u201cthick skin\u201d as, \u201cConfidence in one\u2019s own abilities; a person\u2019s ability to withstand arrows and barbs thrown at them; the ability to not take everything personally.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":20506,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[3679,940,3677,2564,3680,3678,3676,347],"class_list":["post-20477","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-writing-tips","tag-breast-cancer","tag-catharine-bramkamp","tag-debb-stanton","tag-guest-writer","tag-the-journey-is-the-story","tag-the-positive-side-of-cancer","tag-thick-skin","tag-writers-fun-zone"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Develop a Thick Skin by Debb Stanton · Writer's Fun Zone<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I\u2019d define the term \u201cthick skin\u201d as, \u201cConfidence in one\u2019s own abilities; 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