{"id":17983,"date":"2017-11-13T03:00:56","date_gmt":"2017-11-13T11:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/?p=17983"},"modified":"2017-11-13T10:37:19","modified_gmt":"2017-11-13T18:37:19","slug":"versus-risk-living-creative-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/2017\/11\/13\/versus-risk-living-creative-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Should versus What? The Risk of Living a Creative Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Should<\/a>We are social creatures and learn how to be so by copying our parents and then later our peers.<\/p>\n

Over the years, and actually starting quite young, we develop a sense of the \u201crules\u201d of our family culture, then our wider culture.<\/p>\n

All the should and the should-nots.<\/p>\n

If you follow the rules, you get rewarded \u2014 praise, then grades, then later, they say<\/em>, an income and a steady job.<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t follow the rules, you get punished, or worse, shamed and denigrated, and threatened with expulsion from the group.<\/p>\n

But what if what you want to do isn\u2019t supported by the group \u201cshould\u201d?<\/p>\n

What if you want to walk the unbeaten path, the riskier route? What if you want to color outside the lines?<\/p>\n

Who is there to guide you?<\/p>\n

No one.<\/p>\n

Except other independent types. But they’re all walking their own paths.<\/p>\n

No one can walk your path. It\u2019s yours alone.<\/p>\n

Yet the price is high, right?<\/p>\n

We\u2019re programmed from early days to do what\u2019s safe and expected and done<\/em>. And we’re told it\u2019s bad or wrong or unsafe to stray.<\/p>\n

As an artist, though, what is there to do if your instincts pull you far away from what\u2019s expected, from all the \u201cshoulds<\/em>,\u201d away from the group think?<\/p>\n

To be an artist, we must step away from the norm to be able to see it for what it is: a collection of rules past generations used to navigate their world.<\/p>\n

But your world is no longer the world of your parents and ancestors. Mine neither.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s scary to dare to do something different, but what if you can\u2019t help it? What if that\u2019s just the way you\u2019re wired?<\/p>\n

The challenge for me, and I see this in my students and clients, is to have the courage to see the \u201cshoulds<\/em>\u201d for what they are \u2014 hand-me-downs from the past \u2014 and to evaluate what really works for us now, today.<\/p>\n

One of the ways I uncover what I think versus what has been handed down to me is I notice what I’m saying to myself, especially noting if I use the word \u201cshould.\u201d<\/p>\n

I notice how using “should” makes me feel. Often I feel unhappy. I feel as if I\u2019m in a cage, as if I have limited options. I’m tentative and say to myself, \u201cOh no, I couldn\u2019t do that.\u201d Or, \u201cI shouldn\u2019t do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another internal voice whispers, \u201cWhy not?\u201d and I have no good reply.<\/p>\n

I just feel small and scared, like a mouse stuck in its safe home because a big scary cat is out there, waiting for me to leave my home. If I do, it will pounce on me.<\/p>\n

These are all clues to me that I\u2019m in a \u201cshould\u201d box.<\/p>\n

When I notice this, I do a few things.<\/strong><\/p>\n

First, I breathe in and out compassion<\/strong> — for myself and the situation that provoked the “shoulds<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

Then I recognize that it’s normal to be here, locked in by the unconscious programming from my past that has helped keep me safe, as it did my ancestors.<\/p>\n

So, I bless my ancestors and recognize that they chose their fate.<\/p>\n

Now I have an opportunity to choose my fate, and at each step of the way.<\/p>\n

Next, I ask myself What would I like?<\/strong> and I sit in the empty nothingness before the answer arises.<\/p>\n

It could be a long time before the answer comes, so it\u2019s best to get comfortable with the discomfort of not knowing.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a lot of not knowing as an artist. And that\u2019s okay.<\/p>\n

The quicker you become comfortable with this discomfort, the quicker you can sink deeper into the compost of creative gestation.<\/p>\n

Stuff is happening. You just can\u2019t see it because it\u2019s happening in the dark.<\/p>\n

The next thing I do after sitting in the dark nothingness is I take action<\/strong>, whatever action I can, in the smallest steps I can, toward my big dream.<\/p>\n

In my case, my recurring big dream is to be a writer. So, I write.<\/strong> I write anything and everything in my journal and work on whatever project I deem important.<\/p>\n