{"id":16328,"date":"2017-03-30T01:00:55","date_gmt":"2017-03-30T08:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/?p=16328"},"modified":"2017-03-30T13:37:37","modified_gmt":"2017-03-30T20:37:37","slug":"7-tips-paragraph-revision-getting-details-right-kay-keppler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/2017\/03\/30\/7-tips-paragraph-revision-getting-details-right-kay-keppler\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Tips for Paragraph Revision: Getting the Details Right by Kay Keppler"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1FwDXpW\" rel=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1FwDXpW\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-12628 size-medium\" title=\"Loving Lucy by Kay Keppler\" src=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/KayKeppler_LovingLucy_800-201x300.jpg\" alt=\"Loving Lucy by Kay Keppler\" width=\"201\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/KayKeppler_LovingLucy_800-201x300.jpg 201w, https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/KayKeppler_LovingLucy_800-687x1024.jpg 687w, https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/KayKeppler_LovingLucy_800-300x447.jpg 300w, https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/KayKeppler_LovingLucy_800.jpg 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 201px) 100vw, 201px\" \/><\/a>Let\u2019s\u00a0welcome\u00a0back monthly columnist, editor, and novelist,\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1ICkoOc\">Kay Keppler<\/a>, as she shares with us &#8220;7 Tips for Paragraph Revision: Getting the Details Right!&#8221;\u00a0<em>Enjoy!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p><strong>Let\u2019s say that you\u2019ve written the first draft of your novel,<\/strong> and maybe you\u2019ve even checked to see that all your turning points, your scenes and sequels, are where they\u2019re supposed to be. The action rises the way you want it to, your ending ties up loose story threads. Your book is complete, but it\u2019s rough.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>The Devil\u2019s in the Details<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Now it\u2019s time to revise closely. You want to pay attention not just to your sections or chapters, but your paragraphs. You want them to capture your readers and hold them to the page. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.aliciarasley.com\" target=\"_blank\"><u>Alicia Rasley<\/u><\/a>, a writer and teacher, has pointed out some things you want to look out for. (<em>Editor&#8217;s note:<\/em> Alicia Rasley has some posts <a href=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/?s=alicia+rasley\" target=\"_blank\">here<\/a> on Writer&#8217;s Fun Zone blog.)<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Uniform topic<\/strong>. Pretend your mother points to a spot in your book and asks, &#8220;What is this paragraph about?&#8221; Could you tell her in a single phrase or, at the most, a single sentence? (Let\u2019s say, it\u2019s \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/2ne6K08\">when Harry met Sally<\/a>.\u201d) If any words, ideas, sentences, or thoughts are not about Harry meeting Sally\u2014if Sally wonders where she\u2019s going to live, or Harry wonders where he can get a cold beer\u2014that material should be placed elsewhere.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Appropriate length<\/strong>. What idea are you conveying in this paragraph? If that one big idea needs two pages to explain, you probably need more than one paragraph to do it. If you\u2019re writing an action\/reaction, for example, maybe you need two paragraphs. (Let\u2019s say, one paragraph for when Harry musters up the courage to approach Sally from across the room, and a second paragraph to describe how Sally reacts as if he\u2019s a mugger.) Separate paragraphs do more to highlight individual moments, and readers\u2019 eyes get exhausted from passages that are too long.<\/li>\n<li><strong>First sentence<\/strong>. The first sentence of the paragraph sets up the rest. Does it introduce what you want to say effectively? Is it too long, complicated, short, or bland? Make it work hard for you\u2014make sure it introduces a problem, advances the character arc, or sets the stage for action.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Character development<\/strong>. Often it\u2019s a good idea to start the paragraph from the viewpoint of your POV character (so rather than \u201cHarry hustled across the room,\u201d you\u2019d say, \u201cHarry was terrified as he hustled across the room\u201d or \u201cSally eyed the stranger nervously as he hustled across the room\u201d). And related to \u201cAppropriate length,\u201d how many named characters are in your paragraph? Don\u2019t name the guy watching Harry hustle across the room unless he becomes important later.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Event sequence<\/strong>. Readers find it easier to follow a chronology, so usually you\u2019d want to describe events in the paragraph the way they happen for the character. Think about cause before effect, action before reaction, and event before response. (Of course, if you have a reason to change the sequence, see how you can do that effectively.) Sometimes when a paragraph feels ragged, it\u2019s because the sequence of events is just a little bit off (\u201cSally saw a strange man stalking her and shrieked in fear,\u201d rather than \u201cSally shrieked in fear when she saw a strange man stalking her.\u201d)<\/li>\n<li><strong>Word choice<\/strong>. Do your word choices all help to deliver the tone you want and amplify the mood? Check for repetition, including useless padding such as \u201cjust\u201d and \u201cactually,\u201d or \u201cfavorite\u201d words that get overused.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Dialogue and action<\/strong>. Punctuate and tag any dialogue correctly. Each speaker gets a new paragraph, no matter how short the dialogue, so Harry gets a new paragraph when he says, \u201cYou\u2019re the most interesting woman in the room!\u201d And then Sally gets a second paragraph when she replies, \u201cWhy, thank you!\u201d Usually, if a paragraph has both dialogue and action, they proceed in sequence. (\u201cSally looked around to see if the madman was addressing her. \u2018Why, thank you!\u2019 she said.\u201d Conversely, \u201c \u2018Why, thank you!\u2019 Sally said, sticking out her hand to shake.\u201d)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h2><strong>It\u2019s a Beat<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Paragraphs are little units of fiction, a beat of action, or character development. Each paragraph should have an arc, however tiny. When you\u2019re revising, think about where you want your readers to go\u2014and make sure that every word, phrase, and sentence in that beat takes them there.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<h2>ABOUT THE AUTHOR<\/h2>\n<p><a title=\"Kay Keppler\" href=\"http:\/\/www.kaykeppler.com\/\">Kay Keppler<\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.kaykeppler.com\/\" rel=\"http:\/\/www.kaykeppler.com\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-9691\" title=\"Kay Keppler\" src=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Kay-Keppler_31.jpg\" alt=\"Kay Keppler\" width=\"150\" height=\"216\" \/><\/a>\u00a0is an author\u00a0<em><a title=\"Zero Gravity Outcasts\" href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1rqW2wW\">Zero Gravity Outcasts<\/a><\/em>, <em><a title=\"Betting on Hope\" href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1l42nc4\">Betting on Hope<\/a><\/em>,\u00a0<em><a title=\"Gargoyle: Three Enchanting Romance Novellas\" href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1pEPjjq\">Gargoyle: Three Enchanting Romance Novellas<\/a><\/em>, and editor of fiction and nonfiction \u2013<em><a title=\"Angel\u2019s Kiss\" href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1nylmgE\">Angel\u2019s Kiss<\/a><\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0<em>Outsource It<\/em>!<\/p>\n<p>She lives in northern California. Contact her here at Writer\u2019s Fun Zone in the comments below, or at\u00a0<a title=\"kaykeppler@yahoo.com\" href=\"mailto:kaykeppler@yahoo.com\">kaykeppler@yahoo.com<\/a>\u00a0to ask questions, suggest topics, or if you prefer, complain.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Let\u2019s say that you\u2019ve written the first draft of your novel, and maybe you\u2019ve even checked to see that all your turning points, your scenes and sequels, are where they\u2019re supposed to be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":12628,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[49,1029,3082,531,157,75,1340,2848,635,3081,96,2140,932,45,347,17,11,2523],"class_list":["post-16328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-writing-tips","tag-author","tag-character-development","tag-details","tag-dialogue","tag-editor","tag-fiction","tag-kay-keppler","tag-monthly-columnist","tag-novelist","tag-revision","tag-story","tag-tips","tag-wfz","tag-writer","tag-writers-fun-zone","tag-writers","tag-writing","tag-writing-tips"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>7 Tips for 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