{"id":15787,"date":"2016-10-17T01:00:51","date_gmt":"2016-10-17T08:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/?p=15787"},"modified":"2016-10-13T17:45:03","modified_gmt":"2016-10-14T00:45:03","slug":"the-cranky-writer-by-catharine-bramkamp","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/2016\/10\/17\/the-cranky-writer-by-catharine-bramkamp\/","title":{"rendered":"The Cranky Writer by Catharine Bramkamp"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"the-cranky-writer\"Let\u2019s welcome back monthly columnist\u00a0Catharine Bramkamp<\/a> as she shares with us \u201cThe Cranky Writer! \u201d Enjoy!<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

My book is a load of crap.\u00a0<\/strong>
\nIt\u2019s terrible.
\nIt\u2019s awkward.
\nThe characters are flat and dead as road kill.
\nI hate every sentence and I hate myself for writing any of them.<\/p>\n

Have you ever felt this way about your novel?<\/p>\n

You should,<\/strong> it\u2019s a legitimate developmental stage in novel writing: complete despair.<\/p>\n

This stage is analogous with either being or living with a middle school age girl.<\/p>\n

Yeah, it\u2019s that bad.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You have two choices:\u00a0 Abandon\u00a0the book (oh that we could have given away those 13 year old girls, but the market was saturated).<\/p>\n

Finish the book.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Abandoning the book at this stage is tempting, overwhelmingly tempting.\u00a0 The problem is that unfinished is not a happy place.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s disturbing to live with\u00a0bags of half-knitted socks,<\/strong> half-completed meals, or unfinished canvases. Even if that book is nicely hidden in the depths of a hard drive, you know it\u2019s there. It will nag at you and make you crazy in its unfinished way.\u00a0 Worse?\u00a0 Some ungrateful child who still holds a grudge about the weekend you tried to leave her 13 year-old self at Safeway will unearth the thing long after you\u2019ve gone and read it, worse, published it.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let that happen.<\/p>\n

So clearly, tossing the book\u00a0to the side of the road is not the answer.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll have to finish the damn thing.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I think we owe it to our art to finish. It is important to\u00a0practice working through the whole of a project. Don\u2019t die with something so important unfinished.<\/p>\n

How do you tackle that terrible, horrible no good very bad book?<\/p>\n

Turn it over to others.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I sent what I thought was a finished manuscript to six loyal readers who act as my Beta readers.\u00a0 They are invaluable for both their feedback and what they represent.\u00a0 In exchange for reading something that I can no longer look at without my eyes crossing, they deserve the finished, edited book.\u00a0 I owe them.\u00a0 Even if I don\u2019t owe anything to myself.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the solution.<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s easier to fix something, or even write something in the first place if you do it for someone else.\u00a0 Not a new thought, but one that helped propel me to the page and helped me finish.<\/p>\n

Once you slogged through the Beta edits of a book, you can now just throw money at it.<\/p>\n

That is the good news.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hire a copy editor.\u00a0 Just take their suggestions, fix the sentences, or like me on a few occasions, hit, accept all and move on.<\/p>\n

At the same time as the last edits,<\/strong> hire a cover designer.<\/p>\n

Ask for help in writing up the back blurb of the book, and the notes for the Amazon listing.<\/p>\n

You can publish the whole thing through Create Space.<\/strong><\/p>\n

That was the easy final lap.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s moving past that stage of despair that is important.<\/p>\n

As I\u2019ve said before:<\/strong> Break down the work.\u00a0 Editing is exhausting, you stare at every sentence working it around and around thinking that all that Hemmingway crap about writing the truest sentence you can was the reason his books were so damn short and couldn\u2019t we just let this mostly true sentence just slide?<\/p>\n

Your brain hurts.<\/p>\n

You want to dump the whole project and watch five favorite episodes of anything else on Netflix.<\/p>\n

When the book edits drag,<\/strong> we (okay, me) start to get sloppy and lazy.\u00a0 Every sentence is good enough.\u00a0 A bad attitude for editing.<\/p>\n

As soon as I think – good enough, I know it\u2019s time to walk away from the desk and drink water, or dive into water, or just stare at something wet.\u00a0 Like the dog.\u00a0 Who jumped into the birdbath again. After a squirrel.<\/p>\n

Once I spend time away,<\/strong> maybe even a whole day, I can return.<\/p>\n

I will finish the book, and I will send it off to the publishers.\u00a0 Because it deserves to be out, and published.\u00a0 That is our art, to make books.<\/p>\n

It just takes some time.\u00a0 And time will overcome all that is horrible, bad and 13.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

ABOUT THE AUTHOR<\/h2>\n

\"Catharine<\/a><\/p>\n

Catharine Bramkamp<\/a> is the co-producer of\u00a0Newbie Writers Podcast <\/a>that focuses on newer writers and their concerns. She is a successful writing coach<\/a>, Chief Storytelling Officer, and author of a dozen\u00a0books<\/a>\u00a0including the Real Estate Diva Mysteries series<\/a><\/em>, and\u00a0The Future Girls series<\/a><\/em>. She\u00a0holds two degrees in English, and is an adjunct university professor. After fracturing her wrist, she has figured out there is very little she is able to do with one hand tied behind her back.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s welcome back monthly columnist Catharine Bramkamp as she shares with us \u201cThe Cranky Writer! \u201d Enjoy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":15788,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[49,2541,133,2993,940,412,146,2856,132,932,45,347,11,2523],"class_list":["post-15787","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-writing-tips","tag-author","tag-beta-readers","tag-book","tag-book-edit","tag-catharine-bramkamp","tag-create-space","tag-editing","tag-monthly-columnists","tag-novel","tag-wfz","tag-writer","tag-writers-fun-zone","tag-writing","tag-writing-tips"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Cranky Writer by Catharine Bramkamp · Writer's Fun Zone<\/title>\n<meta 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