{"id":1546,"date":"2010-10-06T06:01:28","date_gmt":"2010-10-06T12:01:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/?p=1546"},"modified":"2010-10-06T01:48:06","modified_gmt":"2010-10-06T07:48:06","slug":"the-inner-critic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/2010\/10\/06\/the-inner-critic\/","title":{"rendered":"The Inner Critic"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"Running<\/a>In which I reveal my inner dialogue between my Inner Critic and me, the part of me that would like the Inner Critic to STOP yelling. Thank you.<\/em><\/div>\n

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My inner critic is SO strong… she must have had some good reason to install herself in my psyche… I need to get to know her story.<\/p><\/div>\n

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\n<\/strong><\/div>\n

[Writers, authors, if you can relate to what I’m about to share, let me know. Everyone else, who may not understand, perhaps reading this will reveal some of the work this writer\/author entrepreneur confronts in her daily life…]<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

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<\/div>\n

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She’s especially blathering on how incapable I am in business, and wants me to walk away from it all.<\/p><\/div>\n

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“Failure,” she whispers. “You can’t do it,” she sneers. <\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

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I walk to turn my back and run as fast as I can away from the pain buried deep in her chest. And then I remember… she is me. And turning my back on her and what she’s talking about would be turning my back on me and giving up.<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Is that what I want? Do I want to give up?<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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I don’t. But I suffer. In silence. The grief of things lost, opportunities missed, challenges not taken, actions inadequate.<\/p><\/div>\n

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The pain of failure feels heavy on my chest, a weight, a shame. “I should have… I could have…”<\/em><\/div>\n

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All true.<\/p><\/div>\n

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And yet. And yet. Here I am. nearly four years later, still working for myself, still inventing and creating opportunities…<\/p><\/div>\n

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My inner critic whispers still “Failure. You haven’t made it.”<\/em><\/div>\n

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Made what? I wonder. I’m doing it. “It” the best I can with the resources I have, in this moment. Right now. Would it be so bad if you just let up a little?<\/p><\/div>\n

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I want you do do thing right.<\/em><\/div>\n

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What is right?<\/p><\/div>\n

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You know.<\/em><\/div>\n

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Actually, you know. Inner Critic, you’re good at discerning. You’re what makes me a good editor and writer, since writing is actually rewriting and editing. But the bashing, please, has got to stop. This is your captain speaking…<\/p><\/div>\n

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But I can’t stop. You just said you need me. <\/em><\/div>\n

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Okay, you’re right. I do need you. But how about communicating to me with more neutrality and let go of the judgement….? What do you say?<\/p><\/div>\n

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But this judgment, as you call, it is actually my gift, to you.<\/em><\/div>\n

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Your judgment feels like a bludgeon. It hurts. A lot.<\/p><\/div>\n

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Oh.<\/em><\/div>\n

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Yah.<\/p><\/div>\n

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What do we do?<\/em><\/div>\n

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Well, we’re stuck with each other.<\/p><\/div>\n

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Are you making fun of me?<\/em><\/div>\n

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No, my sensitive discerning with finesse Inner Critic. You’re quite beautiful, actually. And delicate.<\/p><\/div>\n

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I am.<\/em><\/div>\n

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What I would like is for you to see me as the Captain, and to raise your hand when you have something to say. Can you do that?<\/p><\/div>\n

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But… Okay. I guess I can.<\/em><\/div>\n

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And your request of me.<\/p><\/div>\n

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Oh! [Hand wave.] Oh!<\/em><\/div>\n

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Yes? And thank you.<\/p><\/div>\n

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Listen to me. Please. [Suppressing a desire to swear.]<\/em><\/div>\n

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You’re angry at me, aren’t you?<\/p><\/div>\n

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Um, yeah.<\/em><\/div>\n

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For not listening to you. For not taking the time to take my own counsel. For not even taking the time to deeply listen… Instead, I just plunge head-long into things and… waste time and\/or money…<\/p><\/div>\n

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Yes.<\/em><\/div>\n

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But I need to learn, and often doing and making tons of mistakes is the only way.<\/p><\/div>\n

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But I’m here. Use me. Dammit.<\/em><\/div>\n

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Oh.<\/p><\/div>\n

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Yes. Oh. I am one of your most valuable parts, yet…. you shove me aside and play that all is well, when sometimes, it is not well at all.<\/em><\/div>\n

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I like how you tell it how it is.<\/p><\/div>\n

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Yah, when you listen.<\/em><\/div>\n

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I’m sorry about that. I do listen, when i take the time. I’m journaling more, writing more fiction, revealing more… What else can I do to help you feel heard? And I still talking to my Inner Critic?<\/p><\/div>\n

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I am Inner Discernment. I am here to keep you safe, and …<\/em><\/div>\n

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I’d like to prosper, too.<\/p><\/div>\n

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Ah, yes, I know. But not at the expense of your safety.<\/em><\/div>\n

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Okay Inner Discernment, I’m glad we had this talk. All kidding aside, my new actions will be to touch base with you daily, either via meditation or journaling.<\/p><\/div>\n

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What actions will you take that will help me listen to you more?<\/p><\/div>\n

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I’ll raise my hand. [This means I will be polite about my comments, and deliver them with a sixth-chakra vibration. :-)]
\n<\/em><\/div>\n

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Yes, thank you.<\/p><\/div>\n

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And, I’ll gently nudge you to keep refining your vision… I suggest you write your vision out as a story, since creating a world and telling a story is your forte.<\/em><\/div>\n

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Good idea. And thank you for that validation. Story is powerful. And writing my story, the story of how I want my business life to go, will be a powerful visioning tool. Thank you.<\/p><\/div>\n

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What if you had a conversation with your Inner Critic, or whatever that part of you is that seems to be raining on your parade of creativity and forward action?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

PS. You may be curious about other posts I’ve written on the inner critic<\/a>. Though very different in tone, you find much value in them, too.<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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