{"id":13913,"date":"2015-11-20T01:00:35","date_gmt":"2015-11-20T09:00:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/?p=13913"},"modified":"2015-11-13T11:45:37","modified_gmt":"2015-11-13T19:45:37","slug":"failure-is-an-experience-not-who-you-are-get-your-sisu-on-by-carol-malone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/2015\/11\/20\/failure-is-an-experience-not-who-you-are-get-your-sisu-on-by-carol-malone\/","title":{"rendered":"Failure is an Experience, Not Who You Are \u2013 Get your Sisu On! by Carol Malone"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Summer<\/a>Please welcome author and book coach in training\u00a0Carol Malone. Today she\u2019s sharing her article regarding our beliefs about failing as a writer.\u00a0Enjoy!<\/em><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Why do we let failure identify us?<\/strong> Why do we not realize that adversity, burdens, writer\u2019s block, etc. are just isolated events from which we can recover? Sometimes we let failure define who we are, making us believe we\u2019re actually \u2026 A failure<\/em><\/strong>!<\/em><\/p>\n

This thought is bunk<\/strong>, but how many of us believe it? I know I have from time to time.<\/p>\n

I suffered through a particularly brutal critique in a small writing group the other night.<\/strong> Just a few writing friends and a mentor of mine who leads the group were in attendance. We passed around our chapters in the hopes love will follow. I supply the red pens. That\u2019s probably my first mistake, but it wasn\u2019t my only mistake of the night.<\/p>\n

The reading of my chapter commenced.<\/strong> I was terribly fond of his particular chapter having worked on it for a number of months previous. This is a chapter from the follow up sequel to my first published pulp-fiction-era book from the Fight Card series, titled Fight Card Romance, Ladies Night<\/a><\/em>. This book I\u2019ve title Fight Card Romance: Sunday Punch<\/em>, after the dreaded \u201cSunday punch\u201d spoken of in boxing terms that puts your lights out from Sunday to Sunday. It\u2019s a bad punch \u2013 like my experience.<\/p>\n

My story is an entertaining look at the historical period of the 1950s and the tough, seamy side of Los Angeles<\/strong> \u2013 crime, graft, dirty-cops, boxing – with a smidgeon of romance. So I\u2019m beaming away whilst the leader of our group, author and former L.A. Detective Paul Bishop<\/a>\u00a0is ripping into my chapter.<\/p>\n

I could almost hear the red pens scratching across the wood-pulp as they hacked<\/strong>, cut, and chopped up my stunning chapter. All those wonderful metaphors I\u2019d learned to write so beautifully lay bleeding on the carpet of Paul\u2019s home.<\/p>\n

I started to squirm.<\/strong> Then I got defensive. That was followed immediately by, \u201cI\u2019m such a failure. What does it matter what I write? No one will read my book anyway.\u201d Total loser talk.<\/p>\n

Can you hear the tiny violin playing my sob story?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Doesn\u2019t matter that no one else thought of me as a failure \u2013 I felt it<\/strong>. I had failed to meet my own expectations. And it doesn\u2019t matter that it was only one section out of an entire novel. It cut me to the quick. I immediately and deeply internalized the \u201cfailure\u201d and owned it.<\/p>\n

I was not acting like a mentally tough writer who lets their perseverance<\/strong> and their need to get better, help them endure helpful critiques. I lost my toughness, my determination and folded like a cheap shirt in a Chinese laundry. (Couldn\u2019t resist one last metaphor.)\u00a0 I saw this rather harsh \u201cevent\u201d as who I was, NOT something that just HAPPENED to me.<\/p>\n

There is a Finnish word that can\u2019t be translated properly into English. Loosely, it means stoic <\/em>or determined with bravery, guts, perseverance and hardiness. <\/em>In the beginning of World War II, the Soviets attacked Finland with massively more forces than that Finnish could muster. Completely outnumbered, and in a most brutal winter, the Finnish soldiers relied on their enduring concept of Sisu <\/em>to pull them through.<\/p>\n

Emilia Lahti<\/strong>, a PhD candidate at Aalto University in Helsinki and former student of Angela Duckworth at The University of Pennsylvania, studies the concept of\u00a0Sisu<\/a>\u00a0<\/em>and how it applies to our lives. According to Lahti, \u201cSisu<\/em>\u00a0is the concept of taking action in the face of significant adversity or challenge. It is not so much about achievement as it is about facing your challenges with valor and determination.\u201d She goes on to say, \u201cSisu<\/em>\u00a0provides the final empowering push, when we would otherwise hesitate to act.\u201d<\/p>\n

Facing your challenges with valor and determination<\/em>.<\/strong> That just gives me chills.<\/p>\n

So what does that mean for us as writers?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/em>[\u2026]<\/em> Sisu<\/em>\u00a0runs even deeper than grit.<\/strong> It is a type of mental toughness that allows you to bear the burden of your responsibilities, whatever they happen to be, with a will and perseverance that is unbreakable. It is the ability to sustain your action and fight against extreme odds.\u00a0Sisu<\/em>\u00a0extends beyond perseverance. It is what you rely on when you feel like you have nothing left,\u201d according to James Clear<\/a>, one of my personal heroes.<\/p>\n