{"id":12074,"date":"2015-01-16T01:00:05","date_gmt":"2015-01-16T09:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/?p=12074"},"modified":"2015-07-31T18:10:41","modified_gmt":"2015-08-01T01:10:41","slug":"writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/2015\/01\/16\/writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone\/","title":{"rendered":"Writing Dazzling Narrative Readers Won\u2019t Skip Over by Carol Malone"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Fight-Card.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-12122\" src=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Fight-Card-201x300.jpg\" alt=\"Fight-Card\" width=\"201\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Fight-Card-201x300.jpg 201w, https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Fight-Card-300x448.jpg 300w, https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Fight-Card.jpg 308w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 201px) 100vw, 201px\" \/><\/a>This material first appeared as part of course Carol taught within the Group Coaching Program for Novelists where she works as an assistant mentor. <a href=\"http:\/\/coaching.bethbarany.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Click here<\/a>\u00a0for more information about the program where we help novelists write, edit, publish, and market their books in with joy, love, enthusiasm, and smarts.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Welcome back author Carol Malone as we join her on another leg of her author\u2019s adventures. Today she\u2019ll share with us some tips for writing effective and useful narrative that will move your story forward and keep your reader from skipping over huge blocks of your writing.\u00a0<em>Enjoy!<\/em><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cIt was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents \u2014 except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.\u201d<\/em> \u2014 Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)<\/p>\n<p><strong>What does the narrative description of the above scene tell you?<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Do you know where the story starts? <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Does the scene setting description work well? <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Is there too much information, or not enough, and does it serve a purpose?<\/strong><span style=\"line-height: 1.5;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>BONUS: <\/strong>Do you know what point of view this classic opening is written in? That\u2019s right, third person omniscient. You will get a boat load of happy writing wishes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Let&#8217;s contemplate descriptions and narrative for a moment. What are they and why are they important to our stories?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Narrative is the method of telling a story or set of incidents using words that paint a word picture.<\/strong> Narrative could help you set the scene, describe your characters, establish point of view, further your plot, and help you possibly reveal clues, hints, or symbols that help keep your reader guessing.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cThe Hollywood Legion Stadium was a living, breathing nightmare despite the colored Christmas lights hung up high on the walls. Lindy Doherty guessed the management attempted to give the bleak smelly arena a warm cheery glow. It didn\u2019t help.\u201d <\/em>From <em>Ladies Night Christmas <\/em>by Carol Malone<\/p>\n<p>Description should SHOW your reader your world. Mine was a boxing arena in 1950\u2019s Los Angeles. Can you feel the place?<\/p>\n<p><strong>There are lots of ways to employ descriptive narrative in your stories.<\/strong><span style=\"line-height: 1.5;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;First, it is important to understand that literary elements in narratives include setting, plot, theme, characters, style\/structure, perspective\/voice, etc., since literary techniques are best understood in the context of one of these elements. Literary techniques include metaphors, similes, personification, imagery, hyperbole, alliteration, backstory, flashback, flash-forward, foreshadowing, and narrative perspective\/point of view.&#8221;<\/em> <a href=\"http:\/\/education-portal.com\/academy\/lesson\/narrative-techniques-in-writing-definition-types-examples.html#lesson\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/education-portal.com\/academy\/lesson\/narrative-techniques-in-writing-definition-types-examples.html#lesson<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>When you think about writing narrative passages in your stories, there are some suggestions offered by the experts to think about and ponder before you write.<\/strong><span style=\"line-height: 1.5;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Consider what others have said:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>When writing in your novel and especially your narrative passages, it&#8217;s best if you could stay away from the word &#8220;<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">was<\/span>&#8221; as much as possible. It is not an active verb. &#8220;There <em>was<\/em> blue paint on the wall.&#8221; &#8220;She <em>was<\/em> sad.&#8221; &#8220;The rope <em>was<\/em> strong.&#8221; Not very interesting writing, is it?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>EX: (Which is better): The really handsome fireman was sitting across the table from her. She was attracted to him.\u00a0\u00a0 OR\u00a0\u00a0 The fireman with a face and body like Henry Cavill sat across the table from her. Her hands quivered with desire.<\/p>\n<p>Any better? There are not only<em> <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">active<\/span><\/em> verbs in the last example, and some SHOWING instead of TELLING (another lesson) in her response, making the writing more dynamic and emotional. Words like: \u201csat\u201d which is more active, and \u201cquiver,\u201d shows her attraction.<\/p>\n<ol start=\"2\">\n<li>Like Yoda said to Luke Skywalker, &#8220;<em>Do or do not. There is not try<\/em>.&#8221; Our characters shouldn&#8217;t &#8220;<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">try<\/span>&#8221; to do something. We want them to <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">DO<\/span> something, to be strong and active.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>EX:\u00a0 The fireman was trying to put out the fire. \u00a0\u00a0OR \u00a0\u00a0The fireman sprayed the house fire with a two and one have inch fire hose.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, if you character is a person with no confidence, you could still write their lack of self-assurance, but write it <em>actively<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>EX:\u00a0 Alexander dawdled along the road with slow, measured steps while he chewed on a shaft of straw like an old cow.<\/p>\n<ol start=\"3\">\n<li>Avoid overusing the words &#8220;<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">seemed and began<\/span>&#8221; as much as possible. Others have thought these words make your narrative weaker. You could think to yourself as your writing, \u201cis this true or isn&#8217;t it.\u201d Our characters or other things in our stories shouldn&#8217;t &#8220;<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">begin<\/span>&#8221; to accomplish something, just have them &#8220;do it,&#8221; as Nike says.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>EX:\u00a0 The girl seemed to panic.\u00a0 OR\u00a0 Eleanor\u2019s whole body trembled and she gnawed on her fingers.<\/p>\n<p>EX:\u00a0 The rain seemed about to begin. \u00a0\u00a0OR\u00a0\u00a0 It started to rain.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Consider the narrative in your own novels.<\/strong><span style=\"line-height: 1.5;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>If you could take a moment and pick a paragraph of description narrative from one of your stories and try to re-work it using some of the techniques described.<\/strong> Notice that changing some of the &#8220;was&#8221;s and &#8220;trying&#8221;s will make it stronger, more active. If you are in a scene in one characters point of view, stay in their head throughout.<\/p>\n<p>When you get a chance, please post your \u201ca-hah\u201d discovery moments on the thread or you could post your original narrative paragraph with the new, improved and jazzed up one. I challenge you to spice up your narrative if you have to have it at all. If you could share what you\u2019ve learned in this brief lesson, post it below in the comments. Thanks!<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>ABOUT THE AUTHOR<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/Carol-M.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"http:\/\/carolmalone.net\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-11521\" src=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/Carol-M-212x300.jpg\" alt=\"Carol M\" width=\"150\" height=\"212\" srcset=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/Carol-M-212x300.jpg 212w, https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/Carol-M.jpg 221w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a>Carol Malone successfully combined her three passions\u2014romance, sports, and writing in her 4 and 5-Star rated book,\u00a0<em>\u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1DIRtqK\" target=\"_blank\">Fight Card Romance: Ladies Night<\/a>,\u201d<\/em>and her latest, \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1DIRtqK\" target=\"_blank\"><em>Fight Card Romance: Ladies Night Christmas<\/em><\/a>,\u201d a short story sequel. Carol became the first woman to punch her way into the male-dominated genre of pulp boxing with her tender love stories. She tempts readers to scramble into a front row seat for an action-packed thrill-ride. If not hammering out new tales, Carol is reading, watching sports or the Food Network on TV, or hanging with her author husband on the Coast of California. She loves her readers and invites you to come to her website to chat about sports and amour.<\/p>\n<p>Website:\u00a0\u00a0<strong><a href=\"http:\/\/carolmalone.net\/\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/carolmalone.net\/<br \/>\n<\/a><\/strong>Facebook:\u00a0\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/carolmaloneauthor\" target=\"_blank\">https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/carolmaloneauthor<br \/>\n<\/a><\/strong>Twitter:\u00a0\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/CarolAnneMalone\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https:\/\/twitter.com\/CarolAnneMalone<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cIt was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents \u2014 except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.\u201d \u2014 Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":12122,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[49,1960,2283,2128,45,347],"class_list":["post-12074","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-writing-tips","tag-author","tag-carol-malone","tag-narrative-readers","tag-stories","tag-writer","tag-writers-fun-zone"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Writing Dazzling Narrative Readers Won\u2019t Skip Over by Carol Malone &#183; Writer&#039;s Fun Zone<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Welcome back author Carol Malone as we join her on another leg of her author\u2019s adventures. Today she\u2019ll share with us some tips for writing effective and useful narrative that will move your story forward and keep your reader from skipping over huge blocks of your writing. Enjoy!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/2015\/01\/16\/writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Writing Dazzling Narrative Readers Won\u2019t Skip Over by Carol Malone &#183; Writer&#039;s Fun Zone\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Welcome back author Carol Malone as we join her on another leg of her author\u2019s adventures. Today she\u2019ll share with us some tips for writing effective and useful narrative that will move your story forward and keep your reader from skipping over huge blocks of your writing. Enjoy!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/2015\/01\/16\/writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Writer&#039;s Fun Zone\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/bethbarany\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-01-16T09:00:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-08-01T01:10:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/writersfunzone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Fight-Card.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"308\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"460\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beth Barany\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@bethbarany\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@BethBarany\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Beth Barany\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/16\\\/writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/16\\\/writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Beth Barany\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/9716e70facf67ac5be22883cfdbc684b\"},\"headline\":\"Writing Dazzling Narrative Readers Won\u2019t Skip Over by Carol Malone\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-01-16T09:00:05+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-08-01T01:10:41+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/16\\\/writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1083,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/16\\\/writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/Fight-Card.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"author\",\"Carol Malone\",\"narrative readers\",\"stories\",\"writer\",\"writer's fun zone\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Writing Tips\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/16\\\/writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/16\\\/writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/16\\\/writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone\\\/\",\"name\":\"Writing Dazzling Narrative Readers Won\u2019t Skip Over by Carol Malone &#183; Writer&#039;s Fun Zone\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/16\\\/writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/16\\\/writing-dazzling-narrative-readers-wont-skip-carol-malone\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/writersfunzone.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/Fight-Card.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-01-16T09:00:05+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-08-01T01:10:41+00:00\",\"description\":\"Welcome back author Carol Malone as we join her on another leg of her author\u2019s adventures. 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